Say Whaaaa?

So we're going to go ahead and call last week's Bachelorette episode a "wash." I just dropped the ball and didn't record it on my DVR and subsequently cut myself out of the blogging equation. The good news is that I read Lincee's explanation and feel completely in the loop. I have also set the series to record so that we will not have this problem moving forward. Also, my friend sem over at Life Giggles told me to keep my eyes on Ed who might be the sleeper in the competition so I will be on the lookout for that as well. Gooooo love!

So true to form, last night we had a little Hills finale/ MTV Movie Awards "gathering" in our casa, complete with some vino, pizza and cookies. Only the finest. We laughed about how our friends have managed to watched YEARS worth of awards shows together. We have even watched them together when we weren't living in the same city...and that, my friends, is dedication. Every year there is something that just takes our breath away and leaves us shell shocked and this year was no exception. We first thought that we were on to something when Cameron Diaz popped on the screen with her crazy pit stains and we couldn't help but feel relieved to know that stars, in fact, are just like us.

Just in case there was any confusion.

But then the show took the craziest turn that it has in years and provided us with the comic relief that was Eminem and Bruno. Now, I'm not a huge Sasha Baron Cohen advocate (I've still never seen Borat) but I am familiar with his bizarre antics and thought that his presence at at the awards were going to be just the same old, same old from him. Enter a grown man harnessed with wires, suspended over a crowd of celebrities, wearing NO underwear...say whaaaa? He then has a "mishap" and gets jumbled in his wires, forcing him to land into the crowd, specifically in Eminem's lap. What ensued was a lot of cussing, punching and sheer confusion on the part of Eminem and his friends. Everyone just sat stunned, not knowing whether to laugh or cry as to what just took place. In the aftermath, Cutie Zefron was thrown on stage with his award and handed the most uncomfortable follow-up ever. Meanwhile, Eminem stormed out clearly showing that he has no ability to take a joke and we all sat watching from our ivory tower...pure genius!

So I guess the answer is no; no I will not grow out of MTV.

Last night wasn't completely unproductive, I was able to watch the Kings of Leon performance and decide for myself that I actually really like their sound. So I downloaded their album today and have already created a Summer playlist because afterall, I can't live off of Jordin Sparks' "Battlefield" all summer - we're all about productivity here at Kristen & Co.

And while I have you here, I will show you a little project that took up a better part of my weekend. The art of garage sale finds is a fun one and I have been hooked on all of the goodies that are just a $1 away. It's the most guiltless retail therapy that I've ever experienced and I absolutely LOVE it. This weekend I scored a pretty mirror tray that is just perfect for perfume, jewelry or any other odds and ends that might fill up your nighstand for just fifty cents! Speaking of nightstand, I have had two oak bedside tables that have just been waiting to be sanded and refinished. I wanted the "crackled" look, but let's face it, I hadn't the first clue as to how to go about this and people kept throwing out words like "power sander" and "hard labor" which don't really fall into my vernacular so I just benched the idea. Well not this weekend my friends! Alyssa and I got brave, scoured Lowe's for our handy items, and got started. It took me two afternoons to get everything primed, painted, and crackled, but it was well worth it. I am now on the hunt for cute knobs to complete the rustic "look," but for now they will do. I wish I had taken a before picture but unfortunately that just wasn't in the cards...so without further adieu, my new tables:

I think I'm going to take up carpentry...

Spoiled Recap

Well guys...we've put in a good run. Last night's finale confirmed the famed "spoiler" circulating the Internet to be true. I really wish I could say that I clung to the hope that it wasn't real but that just wouldn't be honest. See, Jason never really seemed genuine to me and last night only solidified my apprehension.

I mean y'all, what is with a guy that found love once, only to have a child and divorce, to then go on a reality TV show to win another woman's heart, only to propose and get dumped and later go back on the same reality TV show and fall in "love" with two women? What kind of track record is that? And more importantly, why was everyone so surprised in the end to find that this guy had made the wrong decision? Clearly, the man is confused.

Let it be said that Jillian was probably sitting in her apartment in Canada with her girlfriends and some vino watching this all go down with a thankful heart. She was probably wide-eyed, hand cupped over her mouth, her chest rising and falling with every false move on Jason's part...girlfriend, you were spared. And poor Melissa. I have to say...I do not know what I would have done in her shoes. She is absolutely legitimate in her anger that he would take away such a sacred moment from her. He seemed so cavalier about the fact that he proposed with no actual intention of seeing it through. Now I know I watched the finale through a scrutinizing set of eyes but it completely seemed like he knew that he was making the wrong decision. The minute he let Molly walk away you could see the regret. Sometimes you get caught up in the moment but this just wasn't right. He knew then and there that it wasn't the right decision and yet he went with it.

Fast-forward a few months as Molly shows up to the scene thinking that she's going to get some questions answered. Oh and how spooked did Chris Harrison look? The awkwardness was heavy in the air and Chris the mediator was just trying to stay afloat. So Jason dumps Melissa, who then becomes the newest roadkill in the Bachelor franchise and storms off the set. Molly comes onto the stage telling Chris that the love is still there and that she sometimes dreams about Jason asking for her back...well, dandy. Oh look, it's Jason. He asks Molly to give him another shot as he sits there all smirky and the least bit apologetic while Molly looks "baffled". I am a little bit surprised that she even thought to ask about Melissa, but it was clearly a formality. So that's where the confusion sets in. Are we really supposed to believe that Molly and Jason have not stayed in touch the past few months? In the words of The Loj, "doubtin' it!" I don't care how much love is between them it just doesn't add up that within seconds of Jason's big announcement she would be cozied up next to Daddy and kissing him like nothing had ever happened. Now I hate to be Negative Nancy, and at this point I just wish them the best, but history shows that Jason does not have the best reputation as a lasting boyfriend so my advice to Molly would be, "proceed with caution."

Tonight's "After The Rose" episode will be an updated look into the life of Molly and Jason. Everything I have read proves that they are happy and together so we'll just have to see what happens. For now, I have had my fill of Bachelor news and would love to get back to regular programming.

The Bachelor Recap

Before I start, I would just like to say that I stayed up past 1am to watch The Bachelor for this recap. If that doesn't spell dedication, then I don't know what does. Plus, we're moving floors tomorrow in our office and my desk is in shambles. The unorganization is killing my thought process. Enough of the excuses, here's the recap!

So we're down to the final three in the land of the Bachelor. Jason whisked the girls away to New Zealand for a romantic getaway coupled with overnight dates. We welcomed a little change in scenery because the recession has had things moving a little slow this season. The first date this week went to Jillian. They embarked on a helicopter tour, followed by a picnic on the edge of a cliff (thank you ABC intern). She was over the moon for this completely awesome date. However, we noticed that Jason looked a little reluctant as she opened up and talked about wanting to marry her best friend with the desire of growing old together. I personally thought that this looked like the most enjoyable date, but probably because I think that Jillian is so natural. Everything that they do together seems so normal and comfortable, but clearly Jason was having reservations about them being merely friends with nothing more passionate. Insert: the hot tub scene. I mean, what in the world? First of all, I have faithfully watched every season of The Bachelor for years now and I can tell you that they have never shown so much action at length. Let's just say that it was WAY too much and affirms any suspicions that one might have as to what they actually do in the fantasy suite. And in complete defense of Jillian, this amount of affection would confuse any girl...more on that later.

Molly was up next for the worst of the three dates. Not only was it raining the whole time but he also planned for them to go bungee jumping. My fear of heights had me from hello on this one and I didn't even enjoy watching it. You know that all she wanted to do was look pretty and put her best foot forward...the next thing she knew she was jumping off a bridge with frizzy hair. No thank you. I think that going on a television show to find love proves that you can handle the pressure, but call me old-fashioned. They moved on from the bungee over to have coffee and breakfast together. Molly pulled out a list of twenty questions to ask Jason for the sake of knowing just "regular" things about him. What struck me was the question, "if your house was burning down, what would you grab first?" Me, being the interactive spectator that I am, blurted out, "Ty." Only for Jason to answer, "my old school Air Jordans." Wait a second. You mean to tell me that out of all of your prized possessions, both living and sentimental, that your old sneakers would be spared from the wreckage?! For Ty's sake, we're going to pray that there's no Seattle blaze...

The last date was for Melissa. My how the mighty have fallen in our eyes, Melissa just isn't cutting it these days. The whining, the sad eyes, the puckered bottom lip...it's just getting to be too much. Although we're not much for Melissa, Jason is. The attraction for him is so apparent, that it makes it hard for us to take the other relationships seriously. Melissa and Jason took a boat ride around the coast and then ventured back to a resort for another round in the hot tub. Thankfully round 2 was a lot more PG! They went round-and-round about Melissa's family (or lack thereof) and she explained to him that they would have loved him and that she is disappointed that they were not a part of this process. She obviously has feelings for Jason and expressed them very clearly on their evening date. Just like the two before her, she said that she was in love with Jason and that she thought he should know. Due to the fact that he can't express his feelings, he just made out with her. Every year I think that there is something sick and wrong with the fact that these girls have to do this. Must they really have to be so vulnerable? The whole setting is just so unnatural, the multiple seating arrangements, the bubble baths, the abundance of wine...

Y'all...am I over this?!

Ugh, here's the recap:

Molly - Molly was a trooper this week. Without a doubt, she was dealt the roughest hand and persevered. I couldn't help but think that I'd be the crazy girl with poofy Diana Ross hair literally crying because I had to wimp out of bungee jumping due to hyperventilation. (Take two seconds to actually picture that...insane.) Anyway, Jason has consistently been on board with Molly. Status: rose.

Jillian - It goes without saying that we're big fans of Jillian. Last week I stated that she was statistically the best match for Jason but now I feel like I can't really make that judgement call anymore. I will, however, admit when I am wrong and I clearly was off-base on this one. She seems like someone that has a grasp on what she's looking for and I'm completely confident that she'll find it. And for whatever it's worth, we loved that dressed that she got dumped in...at least she went out in style. Status: no rose.

Melissa - Well Melissa looked like a saloon girl at the rose ceremony this week. I just don't even know where you begin to purchase an outfit like that. She whimpered her way to the rose this week and something tells me that there's a lot more in store for her. Status: rose.

**This just in. Y'all...I have heard a spoiler so big that I don't even know what to do with myself. For the sake of accuracy, I am not going to share it because it's still just speculation, but let's just say it's big. I mean, b-i-g. I hate to be so dramatic but that's what I do. I can say that, without a shadow of a doubt, Chris Harrison has finally gotten it right, "the most dramatic rose ceremony yet" is completely justified with this twist. So next week we have the "Women Tell All" (lame) but that just means that it brings us even closer to the finale!

Stay tuned.

The Bachelor Recap

Hometown dates, here we go! I am going to start by saying that this was the last week of "obvious" rejection for Bachelor Jason. I have found that this season has been low on the surprise factor when it comes to letting the girls go. We went into this week with Melissa, Molly, Jillian and Naomi. Jason set out to each respective hometown, hoping to gain a little insight into their private life.

I have to admit, I was taking personal phone calls through the first hour of last night's episode so I was not 100% committed to Jillian's date. However, it was in the background so I have a pretty good idea of what went down. I have said this before, but last night really drove home the point that I like Jillian. I truly believe that she kind of walked into this situation with the attitude of, "this should be fun" with no real intention of finding the man of her dreams. However, due to her constant light-hearted approach Jason has felt some sort of distance between them. I think that Jillian's hometown date was an effort for her to steer away from the surface. Jillian revealed that her Mother has depression and has dealt with it heavily for the past 15 years. Not only was this a big move on Jillian's part but it finally showed her emotional side, something that Jason highly appreciates. They went on to her house where her family was a nice blend of humorous and normal - something that Jason would come to appreciate by the end of this episode. More than anything, the comfort level between these two shot up and we saw Jillian really rise to the occasion.

Next up, we had Molly's date in Michigan. Michigan, right? I always get those Northern states mixed up. Anyway, the way I saw it, this was the slow decline into the abyss for Jason. Molly's loony Mother brought out the "hat box" in an effort to break the ice with Jason. He was actually a good sport and put on the indian headdress while Molly put on the crown, her Dad put on the beer topper and her Mom put on the over sized foam hat. I would like to think that meeting the parents is stressful enough that props are just aren't necessary. I'm sure there was that awkward transition of "when to take off the hat" as they were sitting in a circle in their living room...ahh, love it. Their family dinner was harmless enough, but Molly's Mom was at it again when she took Jason aside and asked him to draw a picture of Molly in his favorite moment. Like, really? I get that she was just trying to throw him some punches to see if he could take it, but the whole thing was just kind of overkill. He handled it all with a sense of humor and was probably glad when the night came to a close. All in all, the date could have been worse and his next hometown date would prove me right.

Jason moved on to California for his date with Naomi. Last week's preview gave me a little bit of hope for her kooky group, but it didn't even scratch the surface as to how wacky it really was. Let's just say that I would die if my Mom tried the "dove" stunt. Parts of this date were hard to watch because Naomi walked into the day thinking that she really had a chance. Not only was she the underdog going into the date, but she was oblivious to just how uncomfortable the private moments were with Jason. Naomi's Dad very seriously cornered Jason in what looked like a scripted televangelist move to try and talk about his beliefs. While we applaud his effort to actually address one of the most critical parts of a relationship, we think that he went about it all wrong. Jason's uncomfort was so blatant that I thought he was going to have a heart attack right there. Sidenote: Noted, these people do not talk about beliefs or anything even remotely personal. As for Jason, he looked positively giddy when the Mom walked downstairs to interrupt - but little did he know, that's when things would get really spooky. She jumps right in and bounces the ideas of afterlife, reincarnation and Indigo (?) off of Jason and he looked stunned. Unfortunately for Naomi, she blindly walks up with no clue as to what has just occurred. She proceeds to walk him out and make out with him as if he's the love of her life while we all watch thinking, "now that was a disaster."

Fake love is so blind.

The last stop for Jason was God's Country to meet Melissa and her family. Which in "reality" meant Melissa's best friends. She explains to Jason that her family is really private and does not want to be a part of the "publicness" of the show. He is clearly disappointed and does exactly what you'd do if you were letdown with someone...he makes out with her. Which, by the way, is Jason's M.O. - "when in doubt, make out." While it was disappointing that Jason did not get to get to meet her family, he did get to meet her fun friends, making this the most normal of all of the dates. They gave insight into the life that Melissa leads, which is probably more accurate than what her family could have portrayed. You could tell that she is a good friend to these people and that they are truly rooting for her happiness. All in all, we felt good about this date and think that Jason appreciated their Southern hospitality.

The breakdown:

Molly - This week was relatively uneventful for Molly. I get the feeling that she's slowly realizing that this is an actual commitment with a child involved. What was once her desire to win has tailed off into her realization that he's actually taking this seriously. If she were to shake a Magic 8 ball this week I think she'd get, "outlook not good" for the upcoming ceremony. Status: rose.

Melissa - Does Melissa love her shorts or what? Has anyone else made that observation? She is constantly prancing around in those itty things...typical cheerleader. Melissa is sweet, she's clearly over the bar scene in Dallas and looking for love...I think I feel a little bit of sympathy because I know the type. I do think that Melissa and Jason have obvious feelings for each other, but in recent weeks she's exposed a serious weakness in the form of self-confidence which only leads to other issues. Only time will tell with this one... Status: rose.

Jillian - Statistically, Jillian is the best match for Jason. Not only is Jillian "of age" but I truly think that she knows what she's entering in to. Not to mention that they're a good match, geographically speaking, which matters. My cards are on a Jillian v. Melissa final. Status: rose.

Naomi - While sweet, Naomi just didn't get it. Her family was all sorts of confused and we think that Naomi was too. Poor thing cried in the limo and wanted to give up on love which happens to be the exact opposite of what she should do. First things first, lose those tragic gladiator sandals and get back on the horse...love is out there! Status: no rose.

Next week the girls are whisked off to New Zealand! This is always the confusing episode because of the overnight date. What do they do in there? As for me, my eternal naivety will press on...surely they're just sleepy:) Deanna flies half-way around the world for...well, we're not sure what, but stay tuned for the tear-filled reunion!

Spoiler: Word on the street is that Deanna is dating Ace from the Real World! Two reality worlds colliding right there...love it.

The Bachelor Recap

Reeling. That’s what I’m doing right now as I sit here and try to write about last night’s episode. To be honest, the whole thing was just one big disaster. I knew that this week was going to separate the potentials from the hopefuls but I had no idea that it was going to get so…well, crazy.

Now, before I start this week’s dissection, I must say that I blame Jason for a little bit of this madness. For instance, Shannon has proved her psychopathic tendencies from day one - there should be no surprises here. So my question is, why keep her? Instead of being tickled by raging lunacy, I was just kind of annoyed. In her shameful attempts to “prove” herself to Jason she started to crumble and it was all just too much to watch. While others paled in comparison to her craziness, she was given a run for her money from a few other ladies. Here are the dates and results below.

For those of you that watched DeAnna’s season last year, you may remember the time that she asked the bachelors to write and perform a song for her. Jesse took the gold and practically sealed his fate as the winner of the entire season with his ability to buck up and have a good laugh at himself. Because the ABC producers love a good dose of humiliation, they thought it’d be a good idea for Jason to ask the same of these ladies. While goofy, this is lighthearted and fun enough to pass the buck. I shudder to think of what they could do in lieu of this…I’m sure they’d figure out a way to get nudity involved. Needless to say, the girls were asked to make up a song on the fly and perform. The obvious hams jumped right in and the other wet blankets struggled, namely Nikki. Regardless of her tears, she had to perform. Molly rapped about fast food, Lauren sang like she was Celine, Stephanie broke out the vibrato and Nikki sang a lullaby?? If this is confusing to you, believe me, you’re not alone. Instead of poking fun of herself and giving it a go, she managed to draw more attention to herself in a negative way. Jason rewarded Molly with the one-on-one date for her cutesy ode to love and French fries.

The one-on-one date was a low-key night at Jason’s place. Molly and Jason dined on burgers and s’mores for what seemed like an actual real life date. While we applaud the commonness of this date, we can’t help but think that the recession has affected everyone, even reality television. Cheapness aside, Jason was digging her chili. They changed into some comfortable clothes and decided to make-out. Oops, I mean camp out. From where I was sitting, it almost seemed like Jason was laying it on a little too thick. I noticed that Molly would lean her head back a little bit in that way that shouts “personal space invasion.” Regardless, it must not have been too invading because Molly accepted his overnight request and stayed in the tent until the next morning. Instead of changing back into her clothes, Molly decided to take the Walk of Shame full on and parade around the house. Obviously the girls were annoyed and just in time for their group date.

Next up, acting school! Brilliantly, ABC decided to continue with the “budget saving” theme and plan a date on their personal production lot. Aside from waking up those two D-list actors to welcome the group to the set, there was really no planning involved. Melissa, Shannon, Megan, Naomi, Lauren and Jillian set out to create their own story with bizarrely coordinated scenes. Of course there was tension from the get-go when everyone got to kiss Jason in their scene but Melissa. She was none too happy about this and was over the day before it had even begun. When they were finished, they were whisked away to an abandoned LA hot spot for their “wrap party.” Naomi began the pout fest and completely separated herself from the group. We couldn't help but laugh at her goofy attempt to leave, and yet still remain in the frame. Jason spent most of the evening on damage control, wiping up tears left and right. There was so much obvious unattraction on Jason’s part that things just started to unravel. Shannon got snotty, Lauren got bossy and Megan tried to be perky. All in all, the date was just a mess and it looked like Jason was looking for an out.

Lastly, we had the 2-on-1 date with Stephanie and Nikki. The stakes were high for these two, knowing that one of them would be let go. They were given gowns to don for their evening of twinkle lights and ballroom dancing. This date was just unexciting from the get go. Stephanie was a trooper and put on the supplied dress, while Nikki noticeably turned down their option, which is just one more example of Nikki not being able to roll with the punches – an obvious turnoff. In a sad twist of events, Nikki dropped the “11 year relationship” bomb on Jason and sealed her fate. Being the eternal optimist, I’d like to think that Nikki went home, took a long look in the mirror, signed up for some therapy and started on her road to recovery. Anyway, Jason returned back to Stephanie after letting Nikki go in what was an obvious Mother-Son interaction. This moment showed to us that they were on two different pages, she was just dying for her first kiss and we think that he was just looking for her to make him some hot chocolate and scratch his back.

Now that the dates are out of the way, we can move onto the individual results. In what was the most necessary rose ceremony yet, we were actually thrilled to see some of these ladies go.

Jillian – Jillian laid low this week and she should be proud of herself. This was not the episode to get your 15 minutes and we think that she’ll pick up steam in future episodes. Status: rose.

Melissa – So this week exposed a weakness for Melissa, jealousy. To be fair, I think anyone in this situation would get a little crazy but she just needs to keep herself in check. We really want to be right when this is all said and done. Status: rose.

Shannon – There is really not much left to say about Shannon. Instead of beating a French-kissing dog when they’re down, we’ve decided to go easy and grant her some mercy. Our best advice is to find a safe house and maybe lay low for awhile. Status: no rose.

Megan – I really have nothing to say about Megan, except that I would confidently bet a million dollars on the fact that she is nowhere in the vicinity of her stated age (25). Status: no rose.

Naomi – I’m going to go ahead and call “friend-zone” on this one. Naomi and Jason aren’t meant for each other. I think he kept her on the sole basis that her head didn’t do a 360° swivel. Status: rose.

Lauren – Or should I call her, Delusional? Lauren was spouting out orders all over the place and frankly, they were simply unmerited. She would say something really bossy and then come out with, “Do you want to kiss me right now? You know you want to kiss me.” We just hope that Lauren’s exit will give rise to her future successes in the music industry, I can hardly wait until “Famous” comes out. Status: no rose.

Molly – We have pretty much covered the bases on Molly. He’s very interested in her and I wouldn’t be surprised if she keeps everyone guessing until the end. Status: rose.

Nikki – This was a tumultuous episode for Nikki and I have a feeling that she’ll be battling some of these issues for years to come. In all seriousness, she needs to work on laughing a little bit more and enjoy the ride. Status: no rose.

Stephanie – So this is the episode that has finally made her fall from grace. We still think that she has a heart of gold, but the “mother figure” persona is just coming on too strong. I wouldn’t necessarily label her a cougar just yet, maybe just a cougar-in-training. I think that next week will be D-day for Stephanie and she’ll have to have a moving van to take away her beads and body glitter. Status: rose.

I’m so glad that we can put this week behind us. You know things are bad when Jason can’t even entertain the thought of another week with some of these girls so he takes it upon himself to take a rose out of contention. We’ll let him off the hook. He’s had a sufficient amount of awkwardness to last him for a long time.

As for next week, we have a trip to Seattle, Ty, and more time for each girl to “get to know” Jason. See you then!

Ps. Did Chris Harrison take some time off, where WAS he?

The Bachelor

Alright people – BIG NEWS HERE…I have decided to do a Bachelor recap!

“Here’s Liz Lemonnnnn!”

Ok, back to the point. I have decided that since my opinion is superior (and clearly right) that it entitles me to blog about the newest season of the Bachelor with hopeless abandon and shameless scrutiny.

Hey – they signed up for it, not me.

Anyway, I know that I have already missed the introductory episodes, but who needs to talk about those gals anyway? First things first, let’s review the dude. Jason Mesnick, father to Ty (age 3), resident of Seattle, and hopeless romantic (read: kinda wimpy). You might know Jason as the sensitive runner-up that professed his love to DeAnna, only to be let go at the very end. Sidenote: Jason, you’re better off for this.

Moving on. Chris Harrison is back to his old tricks of boldly tapping his glass and clarifying that it is, in fact, the final rose. I always get so confused so I love that part. Anyway, back to the task at hand, the remaining ladies:

· Stephanie – Precious Stephanie is a 35 year old mother of Sophia and widower. The girls in my apartment kind of love her but we think she’s destined for something more. Jason keeps her this episode and surprises her with her daughter on the next one, I think he cries…shocker.

· Melissa – Melissa is a former Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader and recent recipient of the whitest teeth in the world. I say this not as a criticism but out of pure amazement. Regardless, I think that she’ll take it all…stay tuned.

· Jillian – Jillian is an interior designer from Canada. We kind of like her but think she needs to ease up on the “guy’s girl” persona. Everyone knows that that’s a tough act to keep up. Outside of the hot dog “theory” (that we wish she’d can), we love her outfits and want her to stick around.

· Molly – Well, I just had to google Molly. As in, there hasn’t been much elaboration. Molly took the bull by the horns on this past episode and showed Jason one of her “talents.” Bold move my friend…not my personal tactic but I’m sure he’ll love it.

· Erica – Ugh, Erica. I had a bad vibe about that girl from the start. Let’s just say that she’s “rough tough, real stuff” and kind of scares me. Neeeeext.

· Megan – Megan is a lacrosse coach and mother of two boys. She really can’t get past that one common denominator with Jason and really, it’s just getting old. Plus, she was the one voted off by her fellow castmates in the first episode, can you say awkward?

· Natalie – Natalie is the overly-tan blonde from the Midwest. Her qualification for being fit as a mother is “I have a nephew.” News flash 25 year old Natalie, that does NOT make you ready for a child.

· Nikki – So Nikki is a former pageant queen. She’s a little bit on the serious side but seems altogether normal. Sometimes I think she’s just a big buzzkill but Jason seems to like her. One red flag is that she said she’s kissed the same guy for the past 11 years…is it just me or does that necessitate a wedding ring? I mean, wow.

· Kari – Kari is a sweet girl from the Midwest. There has been little to no focus on her, however, the girls and I did notice the hideous tan lines that she will be sporting from her chosen swimsuit. It had a really complex criss-cross in the front that I can only imagine took her three different tries to get her head in the right hole. Those are the unglamorous parts the never show which is just too bad.

· Lauren – Lauren is a government teacher from Florida. While spacey, I kind of like her. She has some trouble with not being the only object of Jason’s eye which could lead to trouble. He is on a dating show, after all. Something tells me that she’s going to buckle under the pressure. Also, if you ever have trouble finding her…just look for the floral gown.

· Naomi – Naomi is an Eva Mendes knock-off. She was just dying to get a kiss in this past episode and that just bothers me. There is such a thing as “hard to get” and being the fourth girl to kiss a guy in the same night just isn’t it. While I do envy her skin tone, I think she’s out.

· Shannon – Ohhhh Shannon. Well, I don’t really know where to begin on this one. Shannon is a dental hygienist and blatant psychopath. Unfortunately for her, I don’t think she realizes how she’s being portrayed, but I’ll be really honest, the outlook is not good. Her lengthy knowledge into Jason’s personal history and erratic behavior only signal more craziness to come. Can’t wait.

I have gone through the list several times and I don’t think I’ve missed anyone. However, if you happen to see an omission, please let me know. By the way, did you know that there was a girl named Treasure that got let go on the first episode? How in the world did I miss that?

All I know is that this season is sure to bring a lot of entertainment to the table. Between the close-ups of the Space Needle, shirtless Jason clips and the return of DeAnna, I don’t really know how to contain myself. All I know for sure is that my Monday nights are securely locked for the next few weeks and I hope you’ll join me with the recap.