Home.

I was asked to join a "blog carnival" on my definition of home with a few of my other blogger friends. I have never done anything like this before but thought it sounded like fun. Please visit Elizabeth's site and enjoy the varied definition of home and what it means to each of us...enjoy!

God’s Country – 10/15/08

"Also known as...Texas. For those of you that know me (you all do), you might know that I have not shied away from the fact that I think Texas is the best. Not only do I think it is the most superior state, I also lean towards the idea that it has the most wonderful people. Moving to New York not only solidified my bias, but it has also instilled a deeply-rooted love for Texas that I will never take for granted.

This past week I found myself in a sort of funk. Nothing earth shattering, but the kind of funk that could only be fixed by:

a) family
b) friends
c) queso
d) all of the above

...I can honestly tell you that a good dose of God's country was all this girl needed. Friends, fun and healthy competition restored me back to health and put me at ease."

Goodbye, NY – 4/13/09

"Really, how do you say goodbye to something that you love so much?

I came in as one person and will be leaving tomorrow as someone entirely different. As I sit here in the dark, buying my time and trying not to go to sleep, I realize that I can't even begin to summarize this amazing experience into one blog post. With all of the excitement and anticipation of my upcoming Texas life, I have forgotten just how full my heart is with love for this City that has changed my course forever.

The life of new friends, weekend brunches, work life, tiny apartments, late nights, summer trips, endless dining, and bizarre occurrences has finally commenced. My fear is that one day I will meet someone that won't know this part of me. They will not know that this experience has shaped me into who God is asking me to be. I have been challenged to go beyond so many comfort levels that I would have never thought possible; all the while learning that I can, in fact, appreciate the beauty in differences. A close friend here once told me that without some of the "outrageous" characters in this world we would not learn to appreciate what makes us all so unique. I will miss this. I will miss my life here and all of those people that came with it.

This past week I have had a honeymoon with the City. I stayed out too late, enjoyed some nice weather and remembered how I fell in love so many years ago. I walked into New York almost two years ago and it took me just the way I was. The blessings that have been given to me are endless and for that I will be forever grateful. To all of the laughs, tears, and joy that I have experienced, I will never forget. So today I leave. I walk away knowing that while Texas will fill my soul, New York will hold my heart."

C’mon Get Happy – 9/18/09

"First of all, I love New York. No really, I love New York. Until very recently, I had no idea what it meant to call one place home. Is it the place where your parents reside? Maybe the house that you’ve lived in the longest? Or simply, is it the place that makes you feel your most comfortable? My entire life I have envisioned it as a singular concept. Sure, “home is where the heart is,” but that doesn’t necessarily get me anywhere. What if your heart is in two different places, how do you explain that? There is no doubt that Texas is my home...the South is where I was made, it’s my fiber. To some degree I cannot even fathom a childhood without the space and safety that mine had to offer, however, something has always drawn me to New York. I remember sitting in bed at night and dreaming of what my life would be like, would the City energize me? Would I find love? Would it change me forever? To all of those questions I asked, the answer is yes. There were times that I felt practically electric, I would walk around and think, “I can’t believe I live here.” Everything felt bigger, brighter and faster...sometimes I kept up, and the rest of the time I just watched. For every second that I am in Texas and think “this is me, this is who I am,” I get pulled into my desire for NY and realize that a (huge) part of me belongs there too."

As you can see from the excerpts of my previous blog posts, the last two years of my life have had me “searching” for my perfect home. While I don’t have all of the answers to exactly what that means, I can tell you that it has made me all the more of a person for it. I have been lucky enough to laugh with new friends, long for old, miss my family, soak up the Texas sun, breathe the NY air and feel everything in-between. The bricks and mortar of the homes of my past, present and future might be ever-changing, but the love and comfort never will. The hug that you just have to have, the tears that you’ll only shed in front of those that you choose, the abundant laughter, the special note, the last phone call of your day, the remembrance of your big achievement, the random email, the smell that brings up immediate association, the photo that carries a memory, the ability to be silent together, the accountability, the vulnerability, and lastly, the joy. These all help me define home. I wish that I could just hand you a zip code and point you in the direction of my constant footsteps, but lucky for me, home is all around.