G-chat Trash Talk

I don't know about you, but this March Madness has made everyone I know a little...well, mad. I joined an all-girls bracket and have let the rush of the tournament go straight to my head. We each joined in the pool with a $20 gift certificate to the store or restaurant of our liking. Because like they say, "hell hath no fury like girls competing for Anthro gift cards!" I mean, I'm exploring a whole new side of myself with message boards, to-the-minute scores and live streaming. It's a rush.

All of this to say, I have filled my Friday with an average amount of fist pumping and a whole lot of trash talking. Below is a conversation I found myself in with my friend Bailey. Don't let the torment of tiny bangs and mid-calf capris fool you, we really are good friends; good friends on a mission for gift cards and free meals. You're going down, Frerich.

me: hahaha - i replied all...

Bailey: replied all?

me: to your precious message board

Bailey: i thought it was blocked?

me: i have my ways :)

Bailey: like how you picked dominion?

me: dawg, that was all my braaaaain

Bailey: boooogus

me: ok, you're right. that was all T-rog...

Bailey: he's really going to enjoy all those anthro gift cards

Bailey: my cousin is michael jordan maybe i should have had him help me.

...

Bailey: i'm sad you won't be at din din tonight, that way i could punch you in the gut

and then pull your throat

me: i know! i want nothing more than to scissor kick you and then give you bangs

Bailey: hahahaha

me: tiny bangs

Bailey: i'd cut your tunic...oh wait*
me: haha - i'd steal your roommate and then scratch on your windows at night

Bailey: i'd cut your jeans into mid calf capris

me: i'd glue shape ups to your feet

Bailey: and shave your head bc i know how you really like short hair

me: i'd give you tattoos of tears on your cheek, write thug life on your knuckles and then make you go to dinner w/ ... (you'd rather have the tattoos, wouldn't you?)

Bailey: and give the birds in your neighborhood tiny bird enemas and then capture them and put them in your house.**

Bailey: i would literally rather have a tattoo that said fabulous on my forehead

me: hahaha - in old english script?

Bailey: preferably sign language drawings

*I had borrowed her tunic for the day...
**We've had some bizarre bird occurrences this past week. They're going loco on everything in Dallas!