Every time my family gets together we love to tell funny stories about shenanigans that happened while we were growing up. We always talk about who was the "sweet" baby or who cried the most and it always turns into a revelation of random stories. My parents just l-o-v-e to tell the story of when they brought me back from the hospital still swaddled in my newborn blanket and as they were staring at me, my Mom turned to my Dad and said, "she's so sweet isn't she?" My Dad's reply, "I don't know, she looks kind of...sneaky."
Yep, sneaky. There they were, staring at their fresh second born and that's the best that the could come up with. The irony of this is that I was kind of timid when we were little. You might even say sensitive. For a time, I would jump when someone would say my name too loud or I would always make someone else order for me when we were in public (thanks Tiffany), I just got used to being kind of wimpy. For the sake of confessions, it may or may not be confirmed that I tinkled my shorts on first base during my 3rd grade softball game because I was too scared to ask to go to the bathroom...again, wimpy.
It wasn't long before Taylor was born and I realized that I was, in fact, a middle child. This was not a big deal for me. I loved being the pb&j to the sandwhich or the icing to the Oreo...I never saw it as a bad thing. Is wasn't until a few years later that the prophecy of my birth started to take hold. I realized that being in the middle had it's advantages, I could fly under the radar and no one would ever even notice. Before I knew it, a sneakster was born. Now I will preface this by saying it was completely innocent, a wet willy here, a wedgie there - nothing earth-shattering. In fact, I would always give myself away because I have a very distinct giggle that accompanies my actions. Taylor and I were famous for sitting in the back seat, budded up next to each other, just laughing and plotting.
I tell you this to note that I am still this way - very, very ornery. In fact, if you have lived with me in that past few years, you have probably been subject to one of my tricks. With the advent of Facebook came a whole new medium for me to play. Like I said, it's never harmful...just in good fun. Another addition to my antics is my knack for voices. Poor Alyssa has been subject to some serious voice-overs from my favorite characters. This past weekend we were watching the Grammy's together and chiming in on who or what we thought were the most bizarre moments. One of which was Gary Sinise, Lt. Dan to the late person. As we watched him introduce one of the musical guests, we couldn't help but wonder - why was he there? He introduced a set of rappers who were doing a tribute to New Orleans...so maybe that was it, "is he from New Orleans?" IMDB confirmed - No, he is from Illinois. Is he in an upcoming movie? Nope, no movie. C'mon Sinise, we're fighting for your relevancy here! We just couldn't let it go. This surge of conversation brought to light a whole cast of randoms that we decided to dub as Alyssa's "Top Five." Sidenote: Top five is a game that our apartment plays where we rank our top five favorite celebrity crushes. Alyssa is known for her staunch and unchanging list, so we thought we'd make a few additions for her.
I was unleashed.
In what was a move that no one else could appreciate (or get, really) I crafted her new list. With the help of Kate, Google and Facebook we compiled pictures of John Candy, Kevin Bacon, Gary Sinise, Donald Faison, Bruce Jenner and Paul Blart the Mall Cop. Our devious giggles signaled that we were up to no good and that she was the brunt of our scheming. Unfortunately, this was not one of my better thought out attacks because she signed on to notice that she was tagged to every picture and took it upon herself to hack into my account and do a little bit of scheming of her own. I have to hand it to her, she stayed up past 1am to turn the table on me I didn't even notice that John Candy was my profile picture until mid-morning...touche Vest, touche. All of this to say that this is your warning, I can strike when you least expect it so be afraid, be very afraid...Sinise will get ya ;)
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I'd recognize that evil facebook laugh anywhere...watch your back Rogers, payback is a biatch!
ReplyDeleteIt is completely confirmed that you did, in fact, tinkle your pants on 1st base in the THIRD grade.
ReplyDeleteI can hear your sneaky giggle from here (giggle giggle)....but why is is that i continually trust you with my passwords...you've fooled me at least 4 times I can think of, but I always just hand it over or you just subtract one number from the last time I gave it to you...eek.......
ReplyDeleteOk, you TINKLED in your shorts? That is tooo funny. I laughed out loud on that one for sure.
ReplyDelete